Wednesday 29th November 2006

F*CKING HELL!! The Bone Marrow biopsy absolutely killed. Have never experienced anything so painful. Local anastethic did bugger all. Dr A had to press down really hard on my hip and practically drill needles into me. I think I nearly broke the nurse's hand I was squeezing. Dr A said I coped really well though, although I'm going to be in pain for next couple of days as bone was well covered and he thinks he's traumatised the muscles. At least it was all over in 5 mins.

Results will be back at 5pm tomo but then all consultants are going to have meeting about them (and I assume other peoples) tomo in Guildford at 6pm so I won't be told til Fri morn.

My feet and ankles are seriously painful, swollen and itchy. They look like they're rotting from the inside out. Have been put on antibiotics for week via PICC-line. First dose was this evening. Weirdest sensation...like melted snow being flushed through your arm.

Daisy came to visit today. Haven't seen her in 3 years. Was so wonderful to see her. She's often in hospital herself as she has ulcerated colitis which will be with her for the rest of her life. Was so good to talk to someone who understands what it's like to be so ill that you can't even face texting somebody. All my friends have been AMAZING and I know they're concerned but they just don't get the fact that I could barely walk to the toilet next to my bedroom, let alone engage in an hour's conversation. Daisy wrote me the following survival guide which hits nails on head perfectly:

'Dearest Pippin,
or perhaps I should refer to you using your new title of Yoda. Sorry if this is a bit wobbly. I'm attempting to write on the train.
Here's my brief 'How to get along OK in hospital' guide (although I'm hoping that hospitals in your area are nicer than mine - and that's quite likely judging from the difference between South West and South East trains):
1. Get your own room (hooray!)
2. Sleep on a towel if the mattresses are plastic
3. Have millions of books/magazines
4. Plenty of music
5. Try and keep positive, but allow yourself shit days. (Shit days=uncontrollable silent crying).
6. Smile and say thank you to doctors/nurses/cleaners/porters - it's good to keep them sweet and it also makes you feel good.
7. Write. This is especially good, especially if you can't sleep. It also helps when you need to think or on the other hand if you need to distract yourself. It also helps with the surreal thing, and when you come home it helps to re-read and write more when you're dealing with the fact that everything hasn't reverted to normal just because you've left hospital and are now at home. Also, you could sell what you've written - especially the drug-induced bits - and make pots of money...Daisy'

Laura's coming to visit me tomo and hopefully Lorna too.

Alli came in while Daisy was here and said that today was last of surgical procedures...touch a blemmin' forest! Have been through so much in last 10 days, but I know now that I'm a really strong person and if I can cope with this then I can conquer anything. It's going to be a journey, but there's nothing like a journey to change life experience.