Tuesday 20 March 2007

Monday 27th November 2006

PICC-line inserted by f*ckwit radiologist who gave me the all clear after Ultrasound on Friday 17th Nov. That's biggest problem - shock. All clear one day...2 days later - given every test under Sun and told have lymphoma - the big C. But it's the Gucci of cancers...only best for me. Highly treatable, v high survival rate. Feel like strapped to front of train moving 1000 mph.

They cut my neck open Thur and cut out tumours to test and diagnose which 1 of the 100 lymphomas it is. Having blood pressure, temperature and pulse rate measured every 4-6 hours. All staff so lovely. Probably start Chemo this week and have 12-14 sessions over 6-8 months. Might lose hair. Might balloon in weight. Might make me infertile. V surreal at mo. Feel v calm. Want to research and write biography of Dorothy (Edwards) when not having treatment. Results back tomorrow hopefully. Been bought a PSP. So cool. Plenty to do...play PSP, read, write, draw and all friends are visiting - some travelling ages to get here. Feel weirdly lucky - like I've been given chance for a better, more positive and fulfilled life. Day of CAT scan results - when they said I had tumours in neck, chest and abdomen (so pretty f*cking awful news) was day I felt my new life had begun. Too surreal to put down. Been spitting and coughing out phlegm for most of today...attractive! And the people mill and rush round like ants...

Not scared anymore. What will be, will be, but I know I'm going to get better. Things are progressing now where they were previously static slipping back to worse. Apparently after first chemo my skin will clear completely and never itch again...bliss...BRING THE BUGGER ON!

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